


blackmail is the highest form of friendship

by falsegljtter



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Third Year Akaashi Keiji
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 18:04:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8763436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falsegljtter/pseuds/falsegljtter
Summary: Kuroo enlists the help of his favorite underclassman to steal Daishou's strategies for the upcoming college volleyball tournament.
Akaashi just really wishes he hadn't picked up the phone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> finals week is next week but why not start a fic? haha *sweats*
> 
> but i HAD to write something for Akaashis bday so here it is. highkey super pumped for this story ;)

By now, Akaashi should just know not to pick up calls from Kuroo. It always ended with something unsavory. Maybe it was because he was now in college, but Akaashi figured this call would be different. Maybe, just maybe, Kuroo was just calling to talk about a movie or how his new team is going. Of course, Akaashi had too high of hopes and really should've known that college can't change someone that quickly. Nevertheless, he answers.

"Hello Kuroo-san," Akaashi greets tiredly while examining his essay. College prep course work doesn't do itself, sadly, so it's best to get it over with quickly. Like ripping off a Band-Aid or lighting yourself on fire since prep courses are literal hell.

"Akaashi! My savior," Kuroo croons through the speaker and Akaashi pulls it away from his ear with a grimace.

"Say what you need to so I can leave this conversation," Akaashi sighs tiredly. Honestly, why did Bokuto think he needed to give Kuroo his number?

"As you are aware I have a lifelong nemesis by the name of Daishou Suguru. It was a stormy Wednesday when we met and my life has never been peaceful since then," Kuroo begins lavishly.

"Get. To. The. Point." The pros of blocking Kuroo would be not getting calls like this. The cons would be that Bokuto would be upset his two best friends weren't "close enough." At least Akaashi could always ignore the next call.

"Sorry! Anyway, I hate Daishou, he hates me, and I need you to pretend to date him so you can steal his teams strategies to share them with me yada yada the usual," Kuroo says and Akaashi wishes it were possible to glare at someone through a phone.

"Care to elaborate a bit on that whole 'fake dating' part, Kuroo?" Akaashi asks, somehow sounding incredibly calm despite the irritation settling in his bones.

"Well Daishou won't give the strategies directly to me, or anyone on the team so Bokuto’s out, and I’m not sending precious Kozume into that snake's den of deceit and manipulation." The way Kuroo explains it all makes it seem like Akaashi should already know the answer but the words make it completely absurd again.

"So you thought, hey, I’ll just send Akaashi to go steal strategies from Daishou because he'll totally do whatever I want?"

"I was hoping it would be like that," Kuroo admits.

"Why do I feel like there's a 'but' after that?" Akaashi asks the plush owl on his bed. It made it harder to loathe Kuroo when he was staring at such a cute plushy.

"Why do you always assume the worst from me?" Kuroo whines in a particularly Bokuto-like manner.

"Kuroo." Akaashi felt something leave his room. Oh, there it was, right outside his window: the last sliver of patience he had.

"If you don't want to do this for me just say so," Kuroo huffs.

"I don't want to do this," Akaashi replies instantly.

"Too bad! I still have one more thing I can hold over you. Does July 24th ring any bells?" Kuroo asks innocently.

"I thought we agreed to never speak of that day again." Akaashi damn near hisses and suddenly remembers, all over again, why interactions with Kuroo were generally a bad idea.

"We did but this is too important. Help me get the strategies and I’ll never mention that day again." Akaashi feels like he's about to make a deal with the devil, at least if the devil had extremely bad hair and was a chemistry nerd, but he sighs anyway.

"Fine. I’ll get your damn strategies. Now don't call me again," Akaashi snaps before hanging up the phone. The blinking cursor of his laptop upsets him and Akaashi finds himself shutting it firmly. Kuroo seriously knew how to ruin someone's Saturday.

His phone buzzed and Akaashi looks down to see Kuroo sent another thank you text.

"Whatever," Akaashi mutters. This whole scenario was so odd that he barely believed it was happening. A quick glance outside his window showed that it was still light outside and his watch placed the time around noon.

"I’m going for a walk," Akaashi calls out before remembering his parents are on a business trip. Instead he merely grabs his jacket and loiters down the road. Why did Kuroo even need these strategies? Why was Akaashi the one who needed to get them? Why did falling on the sidewalk hurt so much?

Wait.

"Are you okay? I’m sorry." Akaashi looks up, and almost drops the stranger's outstretched hand. It was none other than Daishou Suguru. Quickly getting up, Akaashi looks at him as if he were an illusion, about to disappear.

"I’m sorry. Are you hurt?" Akaashi asks because, hey, he's not the sweetest but he at least checks if he injured someone he bumped into.

"No I’m fine. I think you got most of it," Daishou says with a wave and Akaashi realizes that Daishou is taller than him. "You looked pretty lost in thought earlier, are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes it was just something my friend did. I was a bit upset with him," Akaashi says. Of course, he didn't add that the thing his friend did was blackmail him into dating the person he had just ran into so that his friend could get secret volleyball strategies.

"Want to talk about it? There's a nice cafe down the street," Daishou offers and really he's making this too easy for Akaashi.

"You don't know my name. I don't even know yours," Akaashi says. Lies, filthy lies. He'd been listening to Kuroo’s angry muttering for years.

"I’m Daishou Suguru," he greets and Akaashi can't see what Kuroo meant about being rotten to the core. Who knows, it’ll probably set in later.

"Akaashi Keiji. Now how about that cafe?" he says. The walk there is not awkward but instead filled withed his rampant thoughts. Should he ask for Daishou's number? Text Kuroo for help? How much could he ask about volleyball? Would it be suspicious if he tried to flirt?

"Ah! You have a bad habit of getting lost in thought when you're walking," Daishou exclaims. Akaashi feels a hand around his, jerking him out of the way of a pole.

"Thank you," Akaashi apologizes and Daishou merely laughs.

"Don't worry. Here's the cafe, let's get inside." he holds the door open for Akaashi and they both step through.

"I’ve heard of this place. My friend loves it." Akaashi can't wait to tell Kuroo that his archrival also loves the same tiny cafe as him. Really it would just crush him, and Akaashi felt he deserved that right now.

"I’ll go order. What would you like?"

"Green tea with honey and lemon." Akaashi hands over some money but Daishou just shakes his head.

"No worries, my treat for bumping into you." With that, daishou was off and Akaashi pulls out his phone. might as well text Kuroo about this.

~Akaashi to Kuroo  
I bumped into Daishou. Literally.

Within seconds, his phone buzzed with Kuroo’s response.

~Kuroo to Akaashi  
dude.... what happened?

~Akashi to Kuroo  
He invited me to a cafe as an apology and he's buying me a drink.

~Kuroo to Akaashi  
u werk fast! which cafe?

~Akaashi to Kuroo  
You may have heard of it. Mrs. May's.

~Kuroo to Akaashi  
u  
u little  
I get ur mad abt this but that's my holy place.  
this is sacrilege.

~Akaashi to Kuroo  
Should've thought about your holy place before this started. By the way, he apparently loves this cafe.

~Kuroo to Akaashi  
!!!!!!!!!!  
didn't need 2 kno thx JERK.

~Akaashi to Kuroo  
He's coming back. Bye and I'll make sure to show him the cat shelter a few blocks away.

~Kuroo to Akaashi  
u wouldn't!!  
Akaashi pick up! tell me u won't do that.  
aKAASHI!!!

With the final text, Akaashi closes his phone and turns to accept his drink from Daishou.

"Thank you," Akaashi says before taking the first sip. He looks at Daishou and sees his sweatshirt with his university's volleyball team logo proudly on display. Perfect. "Do you play volleyball?"

"Oh yeah. I'm a wing spiker at my college. Do you play?" Daishou asks, a sudden excitement dusting his words as they spoke of volleyball.

"Yes. I'm the captain of Fukurodani Academy's team. I’m a setter," Akaashi replies. Daishou looks alarmed for a second and Akaashi has to stop his grin. "Don't worry, I'm eighteen."

"That's not what I meant! I mean yes it's very good you're eighteen since I’m nineteen but it was just I’ve heard of Fukurodani." Daishou looks mortified. Akaashi decides he's fun to mess with. "That's a powerhouse school, right? You always go to nationals. It's a shame my high school never played a game against you."

"Maybe I’ll play against you one day. We may meet on the college level," Akaashi shrugs. His drink was empty and he really wanted a nap so this needed to end soon. But he couldn't just vanish without a way to communicate with daishou. This was becoming quite a difficult task.

"We should exchange numbers." Actually, this was turning out to be quite easy. Akaashi raises an eyebrow at Daishou, trying to contain his satisfaction. "So we can talk about volleyball. you're interesting to be around."

"I’ll take that as a compliment." Akaashi hands over his phone and Daishou puts in his number quickly. He sends a fast text to Daishou’s phone before standing up. "I have to go but it was nice talking with you. Thanks for the drink Daishou." Akaashi winks as well, because why not, and starts the walk back to his house.

The sound of scampering greets him at the door.

"Hey Chip," Akaashi says softly, petting the mixed breed that was currently rubbing vigorously against his leg. "Come on boy lets go to my room. It's been a long day."

Akaashi flops on his bed, Chip clambering up to be next to him. A text to Kuroo says that he has Daishou’s number and Akaashi goes into his contact list.

[contact name daishou suguru has been changed to target.]


End file.
